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Our First Baby | First 6 weeks home together

Our first Baby, we survived the pregnancy, numerous regular doctor visits, ultra sounds (do you want to know the sex of your Baby), the first heart beat we heard, the classes we took in order to become educated parents, then the delivery, and home we go all three of us. After nine months of waiting, with some fears and worries.

We made it. Our First Baby | First 6 weeks home together

Mom is exhausted, I am what? For some the First 6 weeks home together of having your first child is even a greater education, challenge, then all the books, websites, doctors advice read and reviewed for 9 months. All of that appeared to be a waste of time once our little girl arrived home.

The babies room was all setup, safe toys, best crib, bottles, breast pump, diaper bin, diapers, wipes for those smelly first Diaper changes, bathing table, and on and on and on. We were totally prepared. Well we thought so??

We quickly realized that sleep for us not the baby was not to be something we had any for the first 6 weeks. Breast feeding was one challenge, as our little girl while in mother was very active at night. Now out in the real world her schedule remained that of a night owl.

Breast feeding at first for mother and daughter was a game of play with Moms’ breasts, and sometimes not so much feeding. Mom’s breasts hurt as milk flowed in and Baby played. The breast pump was also kind of like this strange device. Store the milk, warm the milk to the right temperature. All for not our little girl likes Mom’s breast, not this bottle thing. At first.

Our First Baby

Our First Baby | First 6 weeks home together

The Babies room for the most part was abandoned during the first long nights and weeks. Feed her and she would roll over and fall asleep in our bed. Which also allowed us those fleeting few hours of rest during the evenings. Then the fear of “we will roll over on her” did not help at first.

We were told all about getting your baby on a routine will help. Acclimating her to days not nights. Easier said then done.

Our First Baby | First 6 weeks home together

Choosing a surrogate | What you need to know!

Choosing a surrogate? What you need to know!

My friend Linda couldn’t wait to be a mom. Her whole life she has dreamed of a house full of children. Even as a little girl she was always the mommy when playing house with her friends and would diaper and even breastfeed her baby dolls. She was the youngest of 5 and the only girl. She nurtured all of her brothers and was a mom to them all, even though to some she was 10 years younger.

Being ambitious, she chose to go to medical school which put her plans for starting a family on hold for a bit. She did meet the man of her dreams in medical school and were married in July, the month they graduated. Linda and Neal immediately set out to start a family.

At 31 years old she was a tiny bit concerned she was starting a little late. A lot of her friends were already moms. She knew that 30 was even young these days to start a family, nevertheless, she was anxious to become pregnant.

Four years and 10 miscarriages later she turned to surrogacy. A gestational carrier was her first choice. A gestational carrier has no genetic relationship to the baby. The mom is the egg donor and the father is the sperm donor. The woman is carrying the child for the intended parents. Both she and her husband were healthy, although Linda’s uterus, as she puts it, was/is “angry”.

They chose a surrogate agency and after a short search found their surrogate, Lorraine, a lovely 29-year-old who had 2 children of her own. Their first meeting was perfect so they chose to move forward.

Obviously, a very different experience when preparing for a child and not be pregnant. In addition to all of the newborn preparation, there was a logistical, financial, legal, emotional and physical challenge they added to their plate.

They lived 300 miles from Lorraine, the gestational carrier. Even still, the couple made monthly visits to attend appointments and get to know Lorraine. This was an easy enough drive for Linda and Neal, and it did not really impact their budget. The cost was significant enough to even venture into this agreement.

Choosing a surrogate

Choosing a surrogate

Choosing a surrogate? What you need to know!

The total cost is approximately $150,000.00. It varies from state to state but the basic breakdown is:

Agency fee: $20,000 – $25,000

Gestational surrogate fee: $25,000 to $35,000, higher if it is a multiple pregnancy.

Health insurance: $10,000 to $35,000 special policy coverage for the surrogate

Non-medical expenses for the surrogate: $10,000 to $15,000

Legal fees: $10,000 – $20,000

Counseling: $5,000- $8000 requirement for most agencies

IVF: Up to $20,000 more expensive for a surrogate and not covered by Insurance.

The legal contract/agreement is extensive, and with this component comes a significant amount of worry and concern for both parties. The list of “what if’s” is lengthy, however, many are comforted by the positive experiences shared by successful couples.

One positive is that the new mom can hit the ground running once the baby is born. With no physical set backs or recuperation time, new moms are stronger and have less of a need for sleep, however, the emotional pain of not experiencing the birth, feeling the first kick and the battle wounds of delivery is devastating to some.

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Rock your baby to sleep

Rock your baby to sleep have her sleep on your chest, feed her until she’s snoring; that’s fine. Go ahead; but just know you are signing up for this task for at least a year.

Babies like what they like. Who wouldn’t want to snuggle in someone’s cozy arms or be lulled to sleep whilst rocking back and forth to your dads humming?

I remember when I watched my first baby, around 28 years ago. A friend was going to her mother in-laws funeral. She left me with these instructions.

Rock your baby to sleep

  1. Sally will wake up at X time.
  2. Enter her room wearing my scarf, hanging on the outside doorknob.
  3. Do not turn on the lights.
  4. Be sure the bathroom door is open about 5 inches and the shower light is on. (That is enough light for you to see)
  5. Sit in the rocking chair to feed her but don’t move the position it is in.
  6. Be sure to turn on the mobile before you sit down.
  7. When she is done hold her upright for 17 minutes.
  8. Change her while singing somewhere over the rainbow.
  9. Stand on your head and spit jellybeans.

Ok, so the last direction was just me being sarcastic.

Of course I tried to follow all of these steps. And of course she cried the whole time because I probably opened the refrigerator or forgot to turn off the television.

I felt like what a new mom must feel like. I totally turned off my common sense. I didn’t do what seems natural because I had to follow the directions.

My friend came home to a screaming infant. This regime came about because it worked one time. The chair, the light, the noise and the smells suddenly settled her fussy daughter.

I totally get it. Rock your baby to sleep

PARENTS WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT STOP.

How else did the midnight car rides come about? Desperate parents will do what works. Outsiders will view these intricate steps as ridiculous, but new parents see it as perfectly normal behavior.

When my son was born my husband and I walked around OUR HOUSE with one shoe on. We had to scoot our foot under his bottom in the light-blue bucket chair and bounce it up and down. It became a mindless ritual; Tap-Tap-Tap, rocking him until he fell asleep.

It became the routine; it was our new normal because he stopped crying. It worked!

We did go through a few of those chairs, but it didn’t matter. That chair went everywhere with us. It became more important than my make-up

(whose kidding who here, make -up went out the door when I left work to go on maternity leave)

Eventually there is a break in the insanity. Common sense seeps in a little bit and the routines get much more manageable.

What’s your crazy story? We all have one.

Having a Successful Boston Newborn Experience?

The upward trend in Boston Baby Nurses, Newborn Care Specialists and Infant Overnight Care in Boston is due to success of the parents.

Lets face it; we have a city of really successful parents. Smart, talented and dedicated people who surround themselves with smart talented and dedicated help.

It’s not by accident that couples move to Boston. In Beacon Hill, Back Bay, South End, Southie and the Seaport you will find like-minded, smart, folks who work hard, and have nice things.

They worked hard at school, are dedicated to their job, their trade, their skill. They put in the time to be a success. Long hours, missed vacations and long weekends at work so they are where they are; they earned their spot as the impressive head of the department, top sales person or savvy entrepreneur.

This didn’t happen overnight. Today most women are ready to have a baby after sometimes up to 10 years after they graduate from college.

Having a successful Boston Newborn experiences?

Having a successful Boston Newborn experiences?

The average age of first time moms in 2000 was 24 years old. Today’s moms are still in school or seeking a career until they are closer to 30. Medical professionals are in their early 30s before they can even consider having a baby.

Not only are first time moms older, but also so is the support system around them.

I am the 3rd born in my family and my mom was 24 when she had me.

I was 25 when my first son was born. At the time my mother was 49 years old and my dad was 50. They were my support system. My dad brought me to Dr’s appointments and my mom put the nursery together, she was my Florence Nightingale, my Mary Poppins and came to support me in the middle of the night.

Today, many first time moms are in their 30’s and 40’s. Having grandparents as support, be it in the early days of chaos or when moms go back to work, just doesn’t seem to be the best option.

Not to mention the fact that many in the Boston area are not from here originally. So grandparents are not next door anymore. Hiring help is the way of the world now.

Don’t get me wrong, grandparents are still very much part of the mix. They come to stay for a few days and definitely help all day. They just do not do the overnight shift. They go to bed at 9 P.M. I usually have a nice chat with them at

6 A.M. when they get up to let the new mom get some more sleep.

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